Muse Flash

The Magic 100 Words

2008-05-15T15:56:00.000-07:00

Did you know that in most languages, maybe even all of them, 100 words comprise 50% of all words used in conversation. So if you learn 100 words of the other language you can participate in 50% of the conversation. 100 words! Its not too hard to learn 100 words.

In fact there are people out there suggesting that as a strategy for learning another language. Easy!

And then imagine...

French person: Bonjour

You: Bonjour, Tu (i dont know the word cos its in the other 50%) vudre (I dont know this word either cos its in the other 50%) ja mal (yet another part of the 50%).

French person: Huh?

So basically its useless...

Wikipedia is not always correct?

2008-05-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

It amuses me sometimes to see articles reminding people that, shock, horror, Wikipedia sometimes contains false information.

Does it really come as a shock, that an "open content" system like wikipedia can sometimes serve up bogus entries? "Open Content" means that a bumbling idiot has just as much right to submit or edit an entry as a professor whos an expert on the subject (but who, incidentally, may also be a bumbling idiot).

What I find more shocking is, that even though I know the extreme shortcomings of the system, I still place a lot of faith in it. It is still the first place I turn to find information. In fact, Wikipedia has sort of become the default solver of disputes about general knowledge. If you and a friend can't agree what the capital of Kazakhstan is, then you get onto Wikipedia to find out. If you can't tell the difference between Bill Pullman and Bill Paxton, then you know where you go. Never mind that the Wikipedia entry for Bill Pullman could have been written by Bill Pullman's mother. (Or Bill Paxton's mother for that matter, if their parents also have trouble telling them apart.)

World capitals - Why?

2008-05-01T15:54:00.001-07:00

Why do we have to learn world capitals when we are at school? What does it achieve?

Sometimes the capital city of a country isnt even the main city in the country. Its like a city no one would ever want to visit. So what does it benefit me to know what the capital is?

Maybe if we were taught the biggest city. Or the main city. Or the best city in the country. But why the capital?

Kanye West - Lyrics

2008-02-16T05:18:00.000-08:00

I love Kanye West songs, but recently, I had the misfortune to actually listen to some of the lyrics in his songs, and its really affected me. And not in a good way.

If you dont know what Im talking about his latest collaboration with Estelle, "American Boy" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY0sIovSwuU) seems to sum it up nicely. Its a great song, really catchy, but the lyrics are really really poor:

don't act a fool now now.
I always act a fool oww oww.
Aint nothing new now now

Call me a purist, but I dont think repeating the word "now", makes it a rhyme. Its kind of cheating. And "oww oww" doesnt help either.

Another line:

Who killin em in the UK.
Everybody gonna to say you K

This is even worse because "UK" sounds exactly like "you K", so its not even a rhyme, its just like saying the same word twice.

Seriously, the guy is a great producer, but he needs to outsource his lyrics.
Maybe to India?

Who will be killing them in the United Kingdom?
Everybody will be saying it is you, Letter K

Oh, and to the guy who posted an abusive comment to me over my OJ blog post, this aint over yet.

Be careful who you shake hands with

2007-11-11T15:39:00.000-08:00

This report from New Zealand:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1/story.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10474966

Apparently a study conducted in New Zealand shows that up to 20% of men don't wash their hands after going to the toilet. The figures are consistent with results from other studies around the world. In addition, 7% of women don't wash their hands after going to the toilet.

If you watch TV for an hour you will be hard pressed to not see an ad for kitchen and bathroom cleaners. And what do these ads focus on? The fact that your kitchen and bathroom are hives of filth and bacterial decadence. Unbeknownst to you, these sensitive areas of your home are alive with danger. And if you don't use their products you are putting your entire family at risk.

But what this study tells you, is you can buy all the heavy duty, antiseptic, hospital strength cleaners on the market, but for every 5 males who either lives in your house or visits it, there is one dirty little individual who doesn't wash his hands, and is therefore a conduit for disease.

So, you have a party and invite 20 people, 10 males and 10 females. Playing the odds, 2/10 of the males, and 1/10 of the females, will be non-post-toilet-handwashers. So you have three people loose at your party, who are spreading germs directly from your toilet to whatever they touch, which includes communal food plates, your TV remote or your children. In fact, if you shook their hand when they walked in, you have inadvertently welcomed the fruits of their bad hygiene onto your own skin. Very nice of you.

The other thing this article fails to address is the report a few years ago, that automatic hand dryers make your hands dirtier than before you washed them, because they get dirty and then harbour bacteria that they then spray back onto your hands.

And for that matter, there was a report that said after you wash your hands, the act of touching the tap to turn it off, also introduces huge numbers of germs to your skin.

So what's the solution?

1. Don't invite males to your parties. They are 3 times more likely to be non-post toilet handwashers than females.

2. In total, 1 in 7 people that you come into contact with, doesn't wash their hands after they go to the toilet. You can't really tell, because asking them will probably lead to denial, so you really are just better off minimising your contact with other people.

3. Carry around antiseptic to spray on your hands, any surfaces you come into contact with, other people's hands and miscellaneous household pets and children that cross your path.

4. Investigate the practicality of wearing a self-contained space-suit to minimise content with airborne particles. Be sure to sterilise the helmet before wearing it.

5. If you wash your hands, dont turn off the tap, because its dirty. Leave it running. Or ask someone else to turn it off for you. Don't shake their hands afterwards to thank them, especially if they are male.

6. Don't use automatic hand dryers. Instead, wipe your hands on your clothes. Unless they have been exposed to airborne disease, which they have been.

Expensive words

2007-11-09T03:25:00.000-08:00

This from the BBC today:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7086474.stm

Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair has been paid $500,000 for a speech he has made in China. Now, my first response is, that must have been one hell of a speech. Sadly not. It was described as like "listening to some domestic county or city-level official". Ouch. It was also described as containing "nothing new". Double ouch.

Which leads me to ponder the question, if you were asked to give a speech for $500,000, how could you possibly plan to say something that would make your audience feel like they had got value for money?

It's one thing if you are someone with renowned charisma and gravitas. If people already know you as an amazing speaker, some of your work will already have been done for you. Like him or loathe him, Bill Clinton has a reputation for being an excellent and engaging speaker. I have not heard Tony Blair speak, and from what I know although he is a good public speaker, he aint no Clinton. So, if your reputation doesn't precede you, you
really need to make sure that the message stands out.

From the feedback he received, it sounds like Mr Blair didnt stand out...at all. I want to know how a former PM of a country in the thick of world affairs, can end up sounding like a domestic county official. Did he talk about rat catching, subsidised transport for the elderly or building a new playground? Was his vision limited by the new plan for recycling in Guangdong?

So, also bearing in mind, they thought he contributed nothing new, what could he have provided for $500,000?

1. Insights into his prime ministerial career
2. Tabloid gossip about the current prime minister
3. A new car for each member of the audience
4. He could have got Bill Clinton to give the speech

Pay rises for Doctors

2007-11-01T04:21:00.000-07:00

This article interested me today:

http://news.independent.co.uk/health/article3115515.ece

It talks about family doctors in the UK. Apparently they are paid a lump sum to manage their practices. After hiring staff, and other running costs, they keep the rest to themselves. Sounds fair, but apparently not. Because, doctors have been running their practices for cheaper and pocketing the difference. Shock! Horror! This means that their average salary has increased on average by 10% in the last year.

Furthermore, the writer of the article expresses disbelief as to how this could have happened:

"You might expect bankers to increase their profit margins but it is hard to understand how it could happen with doctors."

WHY? Why is it so hard to believe that a doctor would want more money? Are doctors removed from society? Are they not vulnerable to the same forces that others are? What we no doubt see in society is a more money orientated culture. People are no longer content to provide services for the intrinsic pleasure of it. They want money for it. People write books, not only for the pleasure of entertaining people, they want multi-million dollar book deals.

If these forces are affecting all people in society, it is without doubt that they will affect doctors. And they are. And why shouldnt they be affected. Its a rosy, nostalgic view that doctors are kind hearted souls doing it for the love of patients. Rubbish. Doctors choose to do medicine because:

1. Its supposed to be a secure job.
2. It is the degree smart people are expected to study
3. Peer pressure
4. Parental Pressure
5. Prestige and Status
6. Supposed financial returns

What doctors do discover once they graduate, is that the jobs are no longer secure. Patients are more likely to complain than thank them. And their friends who scraped through university with a classics degree are now making four times more than them working in the City.
And doctors want to live in nice houses, and drive nice cars, and society's perception of them is that they should because they are high earning doctors.

So when the writer of the article speculates:

"It suggests that the sums injected into general practice, and the rest of the NHS, over the past five years – £45bn extra in total – have been so huge that they have been beyond the capacity of the average doctor to spend, and so have ended up in their pockets by default."

They have really missed the point. It is easy to see why doctors will try and grab as much money as they can. They are just like everyone else.

Al Gores Nobel Prize

2007-10-14T04:27:00.000-07:00

I must congratulate Al Gore on his Nobel Peace Prize. He really does deserve it. Although, I must say, the thing I most notice about Al Gore, is how large he has become since 2000. Here is a man preaching about the merits of global restraint in carbon emissions, and there is certainly no restraint shown in his waistline.

One of the things that salesman are taught is that fat salesmen earn less than thin ones. This is shown in study after study. (Its also shown that bearded salesmen earn less than clean shaven ones, but thats a different story). This seems to be confirmed by the fact that I cant think of a recent example of a fat American President. But Al Gore hasnt let his waistline affect his progress in gaining recognition for global warming. In effect he has done a sales job promoting a very difficult product, that no one wanted to know about at all. And as I recall, he even had a beard a while back.

Actually, if we are sticking to sales, I think the most interesting thing I have read recently, is that waitresses who touch their customers at least once, get tipped more than waitresses who dont. The study doesnt specify where they touched their customers, and I guess really thats the whole point. Maybe there will be clairification later.

News Headlines October 8

2007-10-08T06:32:00.000-07:00

Apparently a helicopter carrying bodyguards of Pakistani President Musharraf crashed killing four people.

This may be a gross distortion of reality, but it seems to me, flying in a helicopter carries with it a fairly high likelihood of crashing. They are always crashing. And it seems to me that, unlike small planes, where its often novices behind the wheel, in helicopter crashes, even having a ton of experience counts for little. Plenty of the crashes you read about involve experienced military personnel. In fact, I once read, that your average helicopter crashes once every ten years.

Meanwhile, from an article in a South Africa news website today:

"Police spokesperson Superintendent Muzi Mngomezulu said the 33-year-old woman was caught "red-handed" in possession of human body parts in a hospital parking lot by members of the Durban Organised Crime Unit. Police believe the body parts were destined for the 'muti market' "

What is this Muti market? No explanation is given. What is the demand for human body parts like in South Africa? Do people have such regular need for body parts that they had to start a market for it?

In other news, a study in the UK has found that one child is bullied every 10 minutes. And he's getting sick and tired of it...

Wanted: Interesting News

2007-09-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe I picked a bad time to start a blog based on news, but its made me realise, how boring the news is. There really isn't much going on in the world.

But another way of looking at it is, what constitutes news? No doubt you will have been exposed to the view that news is just a collection of environmental catastrophes, crime stories and other bad news. And the rationale behind this is, that no one really wants to hear good news.

Think about how people at work react when you tell them good news. For example, if you told them that Mike from accounting had won $512,000 on Millionaire, bought his dream house, and was taking a holiday to Tuscany. They might say things like:

"Oh thats great news"
"Good on him!"
"I didnt think it was possible to win $512,000 on Millionaire. I thought it went straight from $500,000 to $1,000,000?"

And that would be about it.

But what if you told them, that Mike had crashed out of Millionaire after getting the first question wrong, his house had burnt down, and he had been arrested for selling drugs at "The Tuscany" Nightclub.

No doubt, there would be much more interest. People would want to know every sordid detail:

"I heard his wife burnt it down for the insurance"
"He was always a bit suspect"
"No one goes to "The Tuscany" any more"
"I heard he shot Kennedy"

In fact, people would probably still be talking about it 3 months later. If Mike was allowed to come back at work, there would probably still be whispers around the office about his exploits.

The point you could take from that is that people don't like good news as much as bad news. But maybe there is a different point. Tragedy and bad news, are not representative of whats happening in society. A rise in crime is front page news. A drop in crime may not even make it into the paper.

The moral of the story, is stop watching the news. And stop reading blogs devoted to comment on the news.

Bye Bye White Coat

2007-09-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

Another sign of the old order is passing into the history books. The humble white coat, worn by generations of doctors has now been deemed a health hazard by British Health Authorities (see here).

Unveiling a new "Bare below the elbow" dress code, the British Health secretary said that it would cut down infection rates. Apparently the dangly ends of sleeves, ties, necklaces and dreadlocks, pick up germs and spread them around better then a biological weapons programme.

So, banning the white coat is a good thing for health. But is it a good thing for medicine? Admittedly many medical specialties, and in some countries all specialties, have got rid of the white coat, because it is intimidating to patients, scares little children, and isn't a particularly fetching fashion statement, unless you are appearing in a cosmetic company advertisement.

But banning the white coat is much less extreme than this new idea of "bare below the elbow". Is it just a step away from declaring "bare below the shoulder"? Are we doomed to seeing a generation of doctors who are only allowed to wear muscle tees?

The placebo effect explains how in some cases, even when people are given a sugar pill instead of the real medicine, they still get better. The placebo effect can be explained by a number of things, but one of the biggest factors is the patent's confidence in the person treating them. Do we risk upsetting the positive effects of the placebo, if we let loose a new breed of doctors, dressed like extras from a Baywatch episode?

Navigation Problems

2007-09-17T12:00:00.000-07:00

OK, this isn't from the news, but it is painful enough that it should be. I own one of those Sat-Nav (Satellite Navigation) devices that you stick on the windscreen of your car with a suction cup. I'm not sure where I have seen one of those suction cups before, but I think its the kind those human fly guys use to scale tall buildings. Only if a human fly used the same suction caps as they use on the average Sat-Nav device, he'd probably find it even harder to get decent life insurance.

The suction cup on my Sat-Nav has an annoying habit of deciding to stop sucking half-way through a car journey, sending the whole unit tumbling into my lap, and then onto the floor, which is usually followed by sudden swerving, screeching of brakes, followed by horn honking, screams of abuse, and then quiet introspection (optional).

I can't really understand this. The Sat-Nav is a remarkable achievement. If you had told me 10 years ago, that a small device the size of a bar of soap (O.K. may be slightly bigger than a bar of soap) would be able to give me step-by-step directions to where I was going I would be amazed.

Of course if you had also mentioned that occasionally the device would send me the wrong way down a one-way street, direct me into an open field, or give the shortest route between two points as driving into a river (as my Sat-Nav has), I'd be slightly less impressed.

But yet, here it is. This technological wonder exists. It can direct me anywhere, and it can do so, in any number of different voices and accents (including Homer Simpson), tell me about traffic, and speed cameras.

And so how come the clever people who made this little box of magic were not able to produce a suction cap, that, well, sucks.

I don't know how many accidents have been caused by Sat-Nav-Suction-Cup-Failure-Related- Incidents (SNSCFRI), but I think we need urgent research into this.

If you have any answers relating to this worrying phenomenon, or your own instances of SNSCFRI, please let me know.

APEC and Acronyms

2007-09-16T10:11:00.000-07:00

So George Bush was in Australia this week attending the Asian Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) Summit. I had to look up what APEC stood for, so I can forgive President Bush for thinking he was at the OPEC summit (click here for video). (OPEC is the group of oil producing countries, of which the US isn't even a member).

OK, maybe Bush was wrong to get confused, and he didn't help things when he called his host's troops in Iraq, Austrian instead of Australian, but I think we are all missing the bigger picture here. APEC is a very bad acronym. But it is more a reflection on the sorry state of acronyms in general. Acronyms are lazy, they are confusing, and they cause pain. This entire sorry episode with Bush in Australia should actually signal the beginning of the end for acronyms.

I think my disdain for acronyms began when I discovered that the name of the largest separatist group in the Philippines is called the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. They are often referred to as MILF. Really unfortunate that one. I think this was summed up in a recent BBC online article that stated:

"But although the MILF has experience overseas, Mr Murad insisted that their struggle was purely a domestic one. "

Ummmm, ok...

In another example of unfortunate acronyms, the published summary of information regarding nuclear detonation or Nuclear Detonation Information Summary is conveniently referred to as NUDIS.

This acronym thing has to be stopped.

And just to show I have Presidential support on this, here is what George Bush thinks about all of this:

"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."

O.J. is back

2007-09-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

So O.J. Simpson is in the news again? Great! He's apparently a suspect in the theft of sporting memorabilia from a hotel room in Las Vegas. Sporting memorabilia? Well, I guess some of that stuff can be worth a lot. But I'm not sure what he expected to do with it?

O.J.: "I'd like to sell this item of sporting memorabilia. It's Babe Ruth's bat"
Buyer: "You mean Babe Ruth's bat that was stolen from a hotel room in Las Vegas last week?"
O.J.: "Oh. You heard about that?"

Not being American, its hard for me to really fathom the whole O.J. thing. I get the impression, with this kind of story, the natural response is "I can't believe how low he's gone. He used to be a hero, and now look at him"

That's fine for the average American, because you all knew him as some kind of a football legend. But you've got to remember, that for the rest of us around the world, the first we ever heard of him, was that he's some guy who might have killed his wife.

When thats all you know about someone, it doesn't take too much imagination to picture them breaking into a room to steal a baseball. In fact, its an improvement.

First Post

2007-09-14T07:52:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Museflash.

I created this blog in response to the absolute scarcity of decently written blogs out there.

I figured, if no one else could write a decent blog, then it wouldn't hurt for me to share my own un-edited crap with the world.

I know that the aim of this blog should be to make intelligent comment on the news stories of the day. This is a noble and worthy calling, and I will be fully devoted to this for at least 3 days.

After this, my blog will descend into the usual inane drivel about everyday life and the obligatory links to YouTube videos. You have been warned...